So I told you that I had my own way- a way that didn’t have to do with either Purely Positive or Dominance theory dog training methods. And then I’ve given you a bunch of run-of-the-mill posts on stuff you already know.
So here I’ll step back and discuss something else I don’t like in a lot of dog training theories, just in case you think I’m slacking off.
I hate the advice that we shouldn’t talk to our dogs. “We talk to them too much,” says one trainer. Another says, “No, you don’t need to say anything to him.”
WRONG. And I’m going to tell you why.
You know that hubbub about teaching your dog to make eye contact? The watch me command, or something?
Want the same thing to work, without the stupid command?
Talk to your dog. A lot.
See, the thing is, dogs have been domesticated for thousands of years. I would argue that they are largely a man-made creation, but regardless: they have been LISTENING to us talk for years. We are their people, and they love the way we look, smell, AND sound. You acknowledging your dog (just like people) makes him feel good about himself.
And your words, no matter what they are, sound like music to him.
Sure, I think dogs pick up on our body language, too, and I think it’s important to project love to dogs, kids, and plants.
But at the end of the day, your dog knows your words are important.
When you talk to him, he looks at you. He knows you are saying something to him. Even if he doesn’t hear the keywords he knows, he thinks you have something incredibly delightful to share.
And the secret is: the more you talk to your dog, the more he will understand. And he’ll start to surprise you. He might even figure out how to spell 😉
Research has shown that dogs have social behaviors which mimic our own (not shared by any other animals at all, not even wolves). They were created, and live, to have a special complex relationship with YOU. Wolves really don’t bark, and the theory is that dogs developed barking as a way to communicate with US. Dogs know vocalizations are part of the social-animal package. So why do we think our dogs deserve taciturn silence?
TALK TO YOUR DOG.
Why I think this started:
Sometimes, when we give a command, we repeat ourselves. And sometimes, when we need to just expect good manners WITHOUT a command, we still stick a command in there. “Fido, no pulling.” or “sit, sit, SIT!” I think the trainers want to avoid this sort of stuff, and get us thinking about what we are saying when we are actively working with our dogs. And I agree- to a point. I’m not suggesting you give commands to your dog for basic expectations (I shouldn’t have to tell my dog not to open the refrigerator or not to steal from the counter, for instance). But a “hey, stop harassing the cat” said in a mild tone is a lot less offensive than aggressively jumping between them. And it makes a lot more sense than waving a toy or a treat to distract him (and you won’t have to do it for the next 5 years, until cat-harassing goes ‘extinct’)
And then there is the energy. Projected energy, as I already stated, is good. But what the heck is wrong with adding a ‘good dog’ while we are doing it? Our projected energy might be dicey for a host of reasons, but your dog always knows what ‘good boy’ means.
And dog trainers want it to look like magic. “Look what I can do without saying anything!”. I’m going to let you in on a bit of a secret: sometimes dogs behave for strangers for the SAME reason kids do: they don’t know how to push that person’s buttons, and they are just a little bit scared. They recognize the assertive body language, and they do whatever they are told. This is why the trainer can get your dog to work perfectly for him/her, and you struggle to get the same, even if you are repeating the same command, or following the same body language. Your dog knows and trusts you, she doesn’t trust the trainer.
And just maybe the silent approach was created because baby-talking to dogs is annoying to some of us. I don’t happen to like it, but hey! my husband still baby-talks our dog, and finding it annoying isn’t a good enough reason to tell him to stop. He likes it, the dog likes it. Whatever. Trainers, though, are a different breed altogether. They may find it incredibly offensive for the same reason I do (my dog is an adult animal, and deserves a modicrum of respect… I don’t want you to baby-talk to me.. etc etc) but that isn’t the same thing as saying it harms the dog.
And I will tell you, if you are on a walk with your dog, and he’s walking perfectly nicely, you really NEED to tell him you like what he is doing. Otherwise, how the heck will he know? He might even forget he’s walking with you at all.
So in sum:
Talk to your dog. ALL THE TIME.
RantingDogBlog 